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Caring for Aging Parents

Caring for Aging Parents

Today, individuals are living longer than ever before, and therefore it is important to be prepared for these later years. Caring for aging parents is one aspect of aging that can be particularly difficult to balance within your planning. In this blog, we are sharing tips for caring for aging parents, helping you prepare to support yourself and your loved ones throughout every stage of life. 

Have the Difficult Conversation

The first step, and often the most challenging one, is to have a conversation with your parent to find out what they need or expect from you. Your parent may resist this discussion at first as they have lived a long time without full assistance from you, and accepting your new role in their life may be tricky to handle. Despite these feelings, it is important to have this conversation early on before a crisis occurs. Understanding and respecting your parent’s wishes can also significantly smooth the process.

Gather Information and Documents

It is essential to create a list of emergency contacts, including your parent’s medical providers, religious leaders, neighbors, friends, and financial, tax, and legal advisors. You should also gather copies of various documents including any legal documents, funeral plans, medical records, and medication information. Additionally, keep a current list of investment, bank, and insurance accounts, and locations of safe deposit boxes, real estate deeds, and automobile titles. It may be helpful to keep all of this information in one place, like on a USB drive, so it is readily available when you need it.

Evaluate Your Parent’s Situation

Evaluating your parent’s mental and physical capabilities and locating community services and programs to support their independence is critical, but can also be difficult for you to do on your own. In this case, a geriatric care manager can be vital, especially if you live some distance from your parent. This person can perform an in-home assessment, determine your parent’s housing needs, and recommend a plan of action based on their evaluation. Ask your parent’s doctor for a referral to a qualified geriatric care manager. The following are some questions you and/or a geriatric care manager will answer during this evaluation:

  • Can your parent remain at home? If your parent can no longer care for their home, it does not necessarily mean they have to move. In fact, staying in one’s home may offer better support and social networks than moving in with one’s children! If your parent can safely stay alone, consider dividing household chores up among family members or hiring someone to provide housekeeping, cooking, and personal care. As parents grow older, an assisted living facility or retirement community may be a better solution than living at home as these residences provide additional benefits such as transportation, access to medical personnel, and a richer social life.
  • Can your parent move in with family? Moving your parents into your or another family member’s home is also a solution. This is not the best choice for every family, and that is okay! Ask yourself:
    • Will living together put stress on your relationship with your parent or with your family?
    • Can you afford to remodel or renovate your home to provide a comfortable and private environment for your parent?
    • Do you have the flexibility in your schedule to provide the necessary transportation?
    • Will other family members step in to help, both physically and financially?
  • Can your parent continue to drive? Individuals over the age of 75, taking medications, or both, may have an impaired ability to drive a car. It may be difficult to know when older drivers have become a danger to themselves or others. Consider giving your parent’s friends and neighbors your contact information and ask them to make you aware of any changes in his or her driving skills, or suggest that they accompany you for errands rather than driving alone. Many communities offer driver’s education courses that teach best practices for seniors, including limiting drive time to daylight hours and good weather conditions and avoiding high-traffic situations. Again, this may be a very sensitive topic of conversation for your parent. For help approaching the conversation, visit the NIH National Institute on Aging website on older drivers.

Financial and Legal Issues Associated with Caring for Aging Parents

With age comes a loss of mental alertness, causing a higher likelihood of due dates for bills passing, insurance policies lapsing, and making poor financial decisions. Your aging parent will likely need your assistance with their financial, legal, and medical matters including:

  • Banking: Most banks will offer automatic bill payment services from checking or savings accounts, which is a convenient and ideal option if your parent is internet savvy. There is also the option of your parent giving you responsibility for their finances by having bills and financial statements sent to your address instead of theirs. You may also consider a bill-pay service, which receives a copy of invoices and then requests your parent’s bank or financial institution to send checks directly to payees. 
  • Investments: If the day-to-day management of your parent’s finances is too much for you to handle yourself, reach out to your financial advisor. They will be able to recommend products that provide income on a regular basis, such as managed retirement income portfolios or bonds. They may also propose cash-management solutions allowing your parent’s monthly social security, retirement plan, and other payments to be automatically deposited into an account. You are typically able to access these funds via a debit card, unlimited check-writing capabilities, and online bill-pay services – everything that a bank checking account offers. 
  • Insurance: Review your parent’s existing life and long-term care insurance coverage to make sure it still aligns with their needs and wishes. Make changes if necessary. 
  • Legal Concerns: An elder law attorney can help you prepare documents to manage your parent’s health care and financial affairs, and many states even provide free legal services to the elderly. Your parent may wish to seek an attorney’s help in a variety of areas, including appointing a health care representative, understanding the process for qualifying for government programs such as Medicaid or veterans’ benefits or reviewing and updating estate planning documents, including their will, durable power of attorney, and any revocable trusts. 

Taking Care of Yourself

Caring for aging parents can feel overwhelming at times, but you are not alone. Many local and national groups are available to support you in providing the care and services your parent and family need. For more information and to get started, visit the U.S. Administration on Aging’s Eldercare Locator

Talk with your HR department to find out if you are eligible for leave under the FMLA, and ask about the availability of an employee assistance program (EAP). EAPs are intended to help employees deal with personal problems, including concerns about aging parents, that might adversely impact their work performance, health, and well-being. 

Lastly, seek the help of your financial advisor. Not only can they help review whether your parent’s resources are sufficient to pay for care, but they can also help you determine how to balance your own goals with your parent’s needs. Contact the Blakely Financial team today to begin your planning. 

 

Blakely Financial, Inc. is an independent financial planning and investment management firm that provides clarity, insight, and guidance to help our clients attain their financial goals. Engage with the entire Blakely Financial team at WWW.BLAKELYFINANCIAL.COM  to see what other financial tips we can provide towards your financial well-being.
Commonwealth Financial Network® or Blakely Financial does not provide legal or tax advice. You should consult a legal or tax professional regarding your individual situation.